Lesson Six • Forgiveness
Devotion 5: Authentic Judgment
Pastor John Carter
We have been walking through the different aspects of forgiveness. Maybe this week has been very encouraging to you. Maybe this has been a harder week for you. Maybe you intentionally decided to not read this week’s devotions just because of the topic. I get it. When we talk about forgiveness, most of us will relate to one side (forgiveness) or the other (repentance) or maybe both of the conversation. We recognize our wrongs and seek to make amends, but maybe, we do not receive it from the person we desire to reconcile with. Maybe you want to forgive but you are waiting for the other person to seek repentance. Maybe you have forgiven them time and time again and the offender keeps on hurting you. How do you deal with these circumstances in life?
As we look at forgiveness, I find it really important to follow the model laid down by Jesus in Matthew chapter 18. Matthew 18:15-17 says, “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.”
The first step to walking through the process of forgiveness and repentance is to deal with the offense one-on-one. This is probably one of the hardest things for people to do. We create so many reasons not to do this. We have so many excuses. What if he or she does not listen? What if he or she gets angry? Is it that big of a deal to me? What if they stop being my friend? I am sure you have your own reasons to not approach someone that has possibly hurt or sinned against you. All of these reasons are actually disobedience to what Jesus teaches. He clearly establishes that we are to approach individuals one-on-one. It is important to note that the passage says to keep it between you and the person alone. Often times, this is not how we approach forgiveness or repentance. We often find ourselves talking about it to every other person but the one who did the wrong. This creates division right from the start.
Jesus, recognizing our fear and not discrediting it, establishes the next step if the person does not listen. Jesus says, “take one or two others along with you.” The purpose of this is to have a neutral party. The key word is neutral. It is their job to establish every charge or offense. In other words, you give up, any right to accuse. You share your side and let the other share their side with someone who is neutral. By neutral, I mean they do not have a bias. It is not like you bring your best friend to go confront someone else. You bring someone that has no “skin in the game.” The purpose of this is to ensure that the actual offense can be determined. There are a lot of scenarios that this process can weed out. Maybe the accuser has overreacted and it needs to be addressed. Maybe there was not actually an offense and it is only a major misunderstanding. Maybe the offense is very serious and, by establishing its seriousness, you now have one or two additional advocates that can help you walk through the process. Jesus refers here to an Old Testament passage. Deuteronomy 19:15 says, “A single witness shall not suffice against a person for any crime or for any wrong in connection with any offense that he has committed. Only on the evidence of two witnesses or of three witnesses shall a charge be established.”
It is a serious issue to bring a charge against someone. Jesus affirms this Old Testament law by establishing it to be something we adhere to in the New Testament. Paul, John, and the author of Hebrews, all taught this very law to the church. In your spare time, take a look at some of these cross-references (2 Corinthians 13:1; Numbers 35:30; John 8:17; 1 Timothy 5:19; Hebrews 10:28). The key word in all of this is “charge.” Matthew and the book of Deuteronomy use the same word. The aspect of charging someone with a crime, a sin, or an offense needs to have the right process. It needs to be affirmed by two or three witnesses. We have seen this done poorly in the secular world and just as poorly in the church. When someone makes an accusation against someone else and it goes crazy in the media, it removes and destroys that person before the proper evidence can even be examined. Oftentimes, the accusation causes more damage and the accuser becomes the offender, the “false witness” in essence. The process of establishing the charge is a very important and crucial process of what Jesus teaches in forgiveness and repentance.
In the event that there are sufficient charges to be established by the witness of two or three and the offender has refused to repent, it is brought to the elders of the church. The elders of the church will address the issue with the individual and seek reconciliation. If the one accused chooses not to repent and walk in accordance with Scripture, then that individual is to be considered an unbeliever. The hope is that it never reaches this point. The desire would be godly repentance and reconciliation prior to this process; but in some extreme and difficult situations, the church elders have to walk through these difficult decisions. This is one reason why we are asked to pray for our elders in Hebrews 13:18-19.
What is amazing about this passage, is right after Jesus teaches this process to His disciples, Peter has a question. Matthew 18:21-22 records,“Then Peter came up and said to him, ‘Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?’ Jesus said to him, ‘I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.’”
Maybe you have asked yourself, “How many times am I going to have to forgive this person for the same thing?” Let me flip it a little bit, “How many times have you had to approach God to forgive you for the same sin?” Jesus’ response is befitting His character and behavior. Peter thinks he is probably being very spiritual by offering forgiveness seven times. The number seven seems like a lot of times to forgive someone that has wronged you. If I am being honest, I would struggle if someone came to me seven times to ask for forgiveness. I would seriously question if it is serious or authentic. Jesus says to do it 77 times. He expresses a number that seems so wild and far-fetched you seriously have to ask, “Jesus, are you for real saying 77 times?” We may even be shaking our heads like no way. While this passage may seem very overwhelming, it also shows the amazing love and forgiveness that God offers each and every one of us. God wants us to mimic His behavior. He is not going to tell us to do something He Himself would not do. When he tells Peter to do it 77 times, He is actually showing us His immense desire to offer us forgiveness. When we receive and understand His forgiveness for us, it is so we are able to mimic that towards others.
Take some time today to praise God for His amazing love and forgiveness toward us! Maybe you need to mimic this behavior of God’s love and forgiveness toward someone else. Pray about it, then live it out!